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Writer's pictureSonal Goel

A Year Without Papa: The Unhealed Void

At the anniversary of my dear Papa’s passing, I reflect on the values he instilled in me, the strength he provided, and the eternal impact he has had on my life.


As I sit down to write this blog, to mark the first anniversary of my dear Papa’s passing, my heart is filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude and nostalgia.






I often find myself reflecting on the countless ways in which Papa, even in his physical absence, remains a constant presence in my life—his wisdom, his values, and above all, his unshakeable belief in me. This blog is an attempt to honour my Papa’s memory, not with sadness, but with immense gratitude for the person he shaped me to be.


Traces of His Love

A few months ago, while sorting through old documents, I found a treasure—my UPSC marksheet, hand-written by Papa. It felt as though he was speaking to me from beyond, reminding me of his unwavering belief in my abilities. The care with which he had written down each mark was not just about celebrating my success; it was about his deep-rooted pride in my journey. Even after all these years, that marksheet reminds me of his constant presence, guiding me through life’s challenges, just as he did when he was alive.



Lessons I Will Carry Forever

Papa’s teachings weren’t grand sermons, but simple, profound lessons that have shaped my character and decisions throughout life. He taught me to be fearless in the face of adversity, help the needy and the poor without hesitation, and to always put the nation first, no matter what I do. For him, selfless service of the society was not an occasional act of charity—it was a way of life. He taught me that whenever we have the capacity to contribute or give back, whether through resources, time, or even a listening ear, we should do so without a second thought, with good intentions, and without expecting anything in return. Papa taught me resilience, not through lectures or advice, but through his own life.


Even during his battle with cancer, when his body grew weak, his spirit remained strong. He faced each day with courage and optimism, never letting the disease define him. That same resilience is what he passed on to me, and I carry it with me in every challenge I face today. Perhaps one of the most important values he instilled in me was the practice of being thankful to God Almighty for all that life offers—the good, the bad, the triumphs, and the trials. When I look back now, I realize how deeply his lessons have shaped me—not just as an IAS officer, but as a person.


Wishing He Could See Me Now

One of the things I miss most about Papa is how he would cheer for me whenever I achieved something, big or small. Today, when I stand in front of hundreds, sometimes thousands, giving talks and delivering sessions, and the applause rings loud or when accomplished individuals from various fields praise my humble contributions in the area of social service or when students writes me on social media about how my book Nation Calling has helped him/her in their UPSC journey — in those moments, I often find myself wishing Papa could be there to witness it all.


But then, I remember that he is watching over me. His pride in me hasn’t diminished; it has only grown. I feel his blessings, giving me the strength to continue executing my vision for our nation and its people. His spirit fuels my determination to work harder, to aim higher, challenge my limits, and to give back more.


A Loss That Cannot Be Replaced with Words

They say that time heals all wounds, but for me, the loss of Papa has been a wound that time has not been able to mend. He was my greatest healer, the one who always knew how to lift my spirits and encourage me to keep going. The emptiness left by his passing is vast, and no matter how much time goes by, I have yet to feel that it has lessened. Each day 5 without him feels incomplete, yet I carry on with the strength and values he imbued in me.


As I reflect on this past year, I realize that Papa’s presence is not just a memory; it is a force that lives within me, guiding my actions and decisions. I move forward in life knowing that, while he may not be here in person, his spirit is with me, his lessons etched into my heart forever. This blog is my humble tribute to Papa— a man whose love, wisdom, and belief in me shaped the course of my life. Papa, you may not be here physically—but I know you’re with me, always.


I know you’re watching over me, guiding me as you always have. Your strength, your love, and your belief in me continue to light my path. And though I miss you every day, I carry you with me in everything I do for the betterment of the society. This is for you, Papa. Thank you for being my guiding star.


I miss you… a lot, Papa!


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